Wear an orange coat in December

If you are happy to wear strange colours that most of us are not then  the Sales will satisfy your lust for clothes of high quality

1.Buy a wool coat for only £79 from a top make.Why?
Because it is ORANGE!
1b.Enter an old-fashioned religious order
2.Buy one ball of mohair and knit yourself a hat.Don’t  make it red or it will CLASH with the orange coat.
3.Knit yourself a Mobius strip neck warmer in merino wool.I invented it but now it’s in fashion
4 Wear men’s woollen vests–  a good reason to get married.Check the vest first before you  get married
5.Wear two of everything if you are thin enough not to appear  gigantic
2 Vests, 2 pairs pants.2 prs tights, etc. BUT Not 2 pairs of  JEANS.You won’t be able to walk.Ditto shoes!
Drawback: twice as much washing.
Advantage: Save money on central heating.
6.Move to  hotter country.Remember though you will be a FOREIGNER then.
So maybe not a European country?Remember ,no NHS.Remember Brexit?
7 Wear 2 nightgowns
8 Put a fleece sleeping bag between your sheets.Leave  the unzipped side on the side where you exit the bed  n the middle of the night.
9 Avoid birth control devices and be chaste.Get your partner to sleep in another fleece bag.That will make it hard for him to get near you.Don’t wrestle unless your bed is very big.You might  fall off and what would the  Fire Brigade think?
10 Do a lot of cleaning and vacuuming instead of watching TV.. it gets one warm and the room clean too.
11 Go for a run.
12 Stay in bed for 3 months till meteorological spring arrives.