The beginning

And now,Mrs Mary Tan, will you tell the Judge and Jury what you were doing at 6.45 pm?
I was doing the Times Super Fiendish Crossword Puzzle no 76
But why would that stop you answering the door?
Er,I had stomach ache
Do you find Su Doku a cure?
No,I only wish I did.I see how many puzzles I can solve while in the bathroom
What is the average
Three
What is the range?
From 1 to 5.I am afraid I don’t know the standard deviation
What is the most ever
Five.I am hoping they will make some harder ones
So you heard the bell ring.You were upstairs.Could nobody answer the door?
I suppose Emile might but the lock is too high
Who is Emile? Is he your Lover
No, he is my cat.
Can he speak English?
Well,I think so.Why don’t you come round and see him?
I have no time.
So you cleaned the floor and made the bed
Then I set to work on Dirac’s Equation
Does Dirac mind?
Why should he mind? He is dead.
Oh I hoped to see him.
You must go to a Seance then
So you were lost in thought when a magpie tapped on the window
Correct
What does it mean?
It wanted a mince pie.
But who had been knocking on the door
Another magpie
Are you sure?
No.It could have been a Crow
Well, that’s all the questions I have for this person.My Lord
Next witness please
Hello,I am Mrs Magpie
You are human!
I believe so

Case adjourned

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