When to go to A & E



Your false nails won’t come off

You have broken a finger nail

The doctor’s is shut

You self diagnosed with paranoia and seek a place of safety

The cat scratched your hand

The dog keeps barking

You are drunk but coherent

You have a  cold.

You need to talk to someone

You wonder if you might get a cold

Your hair roller has got stuck in your bushy hair.

You  have run out  of elastoplast or aspirins.

You feel bored.

You need a new nose

You have lost the TV remote

You like that tea they sell in robotic machines.

You are sad because one person did not “Like” your photo

Your toe nails are dirty and you lost the nail brush.

You   have no stamps and you need to post a letter [ hard to believe]

You want a pregnancy test. [ How long ago………?}

You have no condoms.

You wet your knickers

You have lost your nail file or comb.

Your cat is ill and the vet is shut

You like eying up nurses.. remember a  lot are now men,anyway… so ladies…No!

You had a row with your wife and are trying to frighten her by pretending to have chest pains.

You hate Xmas alone

Nobody loves you. [ can you prove it?]

You have finished the Fiendish Su Doku Book while suffering gut ache

You can’t stay in on Saturday night

It’s a cheap day out [ but not for the NHS]

Remember it’s for EMERGENCIES

It costs  on average £1,400 per person per visit

I welcome comments and criticism

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