Your false nails won’t come off

You have broken a finger nail
The doctor’s is shut
You self diagnosed with paranoia and seek a place of safety
The cat scratched your hand
The dog keeps barking
You are drunk but coherent
You have a cold.
You need to talk to someone
You wonder if you might get a cold
Your hair roller has got stuck in your bushy hair.
You have run out of elastoplast or aspirins.
You feel bored.
You need a new nose
You have lost the TV remote
You like that tea they sell in robotic machines.
You are sad because one person did not “Like” your photo
Your toe nails are dirty and you lost the nail brush.
You have no stamps and you need to post a letter [ hard to believe]
You want a pregnancy test. [ How long ago………?}
You have no condoms.
You wet your knickers
You have lost your nail file or comb.
Your cat is ill and the vet is shut
You like eying up nurses.. remember a lot are now men,anyway… so ladies…No!
You had a row with your wife and are trying to frighten her by pretending to have chest pains.
You hate Xmas alone
Nobody loves you. [ can you prove it?]
You have finished the Fiendish Su Doku Book while suffering gut ache
You can’t stay in on Saturday night
It’s a cheap day out [ but not for the NHS]
Remember it’s for EMERGENCIES
It costs on average £1,400 per person per visit