Mary and the dogs

 

As Mary ate her topside with green peas,she gazed out of the front window where a  police car was parked.They had gone to speak to her neighbours.Her neighbours had 23
dogs and a dead cat .all in the back garden for recreation and making holes in fences or other places
When Mary had come home from the  delightful dentist she had been attacked by 5 of the dogs on her own patio
who were bored with their own garden so has made a hole in the fence as was  their wont.
She sat  silentky her mind  brooding about animals,and their force,  as she ate the last roast potato and wondered if she had a pudding
Suddenly a  cold wind seemed to blow across the room as Annie her delightful neighbour
had  run in without closing the back door firmly
Hello dear.Put the  kettle on for me, Mary ordered Annie
I am sorry,Annie said,I have lost weight but even so the kettle won’t fit me
Why do you take things so literally,Mary asked?
I am trying to  be funny, Annie muttered indecisively, her blood red lipstick melting down her chin and dripping onto the floor
Good grief, what a mess,Mary said.Hang on, your lips are bleeding
I keep biting them,Annie revealed.
Why?
To stop  myself  screaming at those people with the dogs.What will you do?
Her mascara from Mix Vector in dark brown began to melt and  created streaks  across   her rose beige  moisturising foundation from Bess of Arden
Are you crying,Mary asked  curiously
I must be.I have tears in my eyes.I am over-identifing with your feelings.
Empathy has its limits,Mary said sweetly>I  phoned the police and they  came here
They were amazed he  has 23 dogs.They have gone to see him.
How  can they afford to feed so many dogs?
Oh,I feel faint,ring 999
In ran Dave the bisexual, transvestment paramedic all dressed in tartan
Why are the police here,  he asked anxiously
It’s about the dogs attacking Mary.
Shall I make some  nice strong tea,Dave asked wisely
Good idea, said Annie
How is Emile taking this?
I’ve sent him to my sister’s for a break,But I miss him
Goodness me, what a terrible time you are having
They all went into the lounge and sat down on the grey high backed armchairs
Here is the tea,Dave cried as he  put the tray down on a low table.Don’t let it go cold~
Shall I give them some cake, he asked Mary?
Why not, she answered.See what you can find
It is very hard if neighbours attack you,Why, I’ve even read about murders  at  times like this,Dave cried.
Let’s  see how it goes,Mary said quietly.They are not fools
I hope you are right,Dave said wisely
Rolling Stones never  get mopped
Evert cloud has a silver lining~
When glum ,keep mum
Amen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “Mary and the dogs

  1. I couldn’t seem to get going with enough energy to make it more humorous.Like an aeroplane
    that won’t leave the ground. even though it’s nearly there.Well,I might add a bit more later
    Sometimes things just don’t go as one hopes

    Like

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