How are we feeling tonight?


How are you feeling,the doctor asked plaintively

With my senses,I replied jocosely
No,I mean how is your body? he extrapolated.
You can see it better than me,I informed him 
as I got on to the couch.
But I can't feel it,he said languidly.
I shall permit you to feel it
I said in a kindly ruin of my  voice
He pressed my abdomen,but not with  a hot iron luckily
Owzat,I shouted politely.Not out yet
He said ,I think your organ is inflamed.
That is very rude,I told him with a garbled smile
I mean your bladder, he riposted   fluently
Has  it ever crossed your mind that we only  know  we have bladders
 because we read that in a book. I said in a puzzled tone.
Unless you are a surgeon,I continued courteously
We can see it on a scan, he said charmingly.
Well ,we  only have the word of a technician,I said logically
So are you telling me you don't believe you have a bladder
 he said with a Freudian  dignity
 only matched by that of a million psychoanalysts across the world.
I'll accept it as a hypothesis I said.
All that water must be stored somewhere though
 in  many older folk it is in their ankles,I resumed.

And now and then  people get water on the brain.
How does that get out? I enquired  in my intriguingly female tones.
I think we'll leave it there,he said.
That's no good.How about sticking a  canula into my brain 
to drain it,I suggested cleverly
Not on  the NHS,he called from behind his  screen
So  you want me to pay. I think I'll go home and do it myself,
I said rudely
Thank God, he screamed.
No,you thank him I said.I am phoning for a cab.
Can you give me a canula or two
If you don't leave I'll give you
 more than a canula he said vivaciously
What else is on offer, I demanded.

Knives,   anaesthetics,disinfectant?
He left the room and I never saw him again.
Just as we were getting on so well.
If it had been Leap Year 
I might even have proposed though what I have no idea.
Still I had no need for antibiotics which was a  blessing.
I called for a out opposite my house,slipped into gutter.
It gives one a new perspective although 
it was a mite unfortunate that a car was coming round the bend quite rapidly.
So It's goodbye from me.
You can pray to me unless you are a Protestant or are Jewish.
Tough luck.Just call me Saint from now on.

And so bray all of us



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